Oh Thanksgiving weekend. A time to reconnect with your family and give thanks that you no longer live with them. But what about all those other people you're inevitably going to run into when you head home this fateful weekend? For better or for worse, we're counting down the top 5 people you should prepare to see this Thanksgiving weekend.
Person #1: Your hometown Ex
Were they your high school sweetheart? The one that got away? The one who broke your heart into a million pieces until you moved away and realized what a total turd they actually were? Regardless of how things ended between you and your hometown ex, your inevitable run-in is going to end one of two ways:
Option 1: It's going to be a showdown of who won the breakup. Make sure you have a cute outfit packed and just the right amount of alcohol in your system.
Option 2: Ya'll are going to hook up. Look, I didn't make the rules, these are just the facts.
Person #2: The friend you grew up with that you barely know anymore
You guys used to share everything. Crushes, homework, rides to school. Maybe you even spent hours at each other's houses, making up choreographed dances or discussing the nuances between Team Kristen and Team LC of Laguna Beach. Those times were great, but you've both grown in your separate directions and that's OK. Don't waste time feeling bad about losing touch, just pop in The OC: Mix 1 or another track from the ol' days and let the reminiscing begin.
Person #3. The Judgemental Relative
Everyone has that one relative. The one who is constantly throwing side-eye at your outfit choices (these are not sweatpants, they're athletic wear), asking triggering questions about your love life and/or career (News flash: THERE IS NO NEWS) or just saying blatantly ridiculous political statements that give you tension headaches. To deal with the judgemental relative I recommend:
1) Sitting as far across the table as humanly possible
2) Diverting their questions with vague inspirational quotes ie: "Life isn't about the finish line, it's about the journey"
3) Wine. When in doubt, there is always more wine.
Person #4: Your Mom's Friend Carol
Unlike the judgemental relative, your mom's friend Carol is so excited your home. Have you guys even met before? Unclear. But thanks to your mom, she knows every detail about your life and is oddly really supportive. Thank you..?
Person #5: That acquaintance you used to smoke pot with during 7th period
I think it was Plato who once said, "The older you get, the fewer weed connections you have to rely on." When you realize this to be true, you may find yourself fumbling through your phone, looking for your old hometown connect. Who knew these would be the bonds that last the test of time?
Good luck out there, and Happy Thanksgiving!
SM
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